DEAR ABBY: Man with reputation for cheating is caught on ’Hook-up’ web sites

Wednesday

DEAR ABBY: i recently discovered my better half of 18 years happens to be planning to “hook-up” internet sites. He claims he had been simply taking a look at the images, but I do not think him. We have caught him cheating twice in past times, so it is difficult to trust him.

My issue is, he understands i can not leave him because We have no job, no abilities, no cash — absolutely nothing. We went from the comfort of my moms and dads’ home to coping with him after our wedding. We have six children and something along the way. He’ll continue steadily to head to these sites because he understands i will be stuck. just What must I do? — SOON-TO-BE MOM OF SEVEN

DEAR SOON-TO-BE MOM OF SEVEN: first thing you have to do is visit your medical practitioner and start to become examined for STDs. If you should be well, thank your greater power. If you’ren’t, get therapy, get well and keep in touch with a attorney. Your circumstances might never be because hopeless as you imagine.

Perhaps you have any family members or buddies you can stick to whenever you leave, improve your life and start to become self-supporting? It might need work training and time, but please think over it.

We question your spouse could have enough time for philandering if he’s got six young ones to deal with by himself as well as his task. We also question that few, if any, ladies he may be starting up with would welcome becoming the instant mom of six. Plus one more thing, to any extent further, please usage birth prevention.

DEAR ABBY: i’ve been divorced for three decades. With this right time, my ex-wife has hardly ever spoken in my opinion, plus in the final a decade stated not merely one term in my experience. There has been occasions that are many activities within my son’s house to commemorate my granddaughter’s birthday, etc. My ex and lots of other individuals attend, but fundamentally, no body talks if you ask me. I’m completely ignored.

I’ve a hunch that is strong during the divorce or separation my ex told individuals We hit or abused her. (incorrect!) She told my sis one thing to the impact. In my opinion it had been a ploy to distract through the known reality she was in fact cheating on me. Irrespective, this example is incredibly hurtful and unpleasant. Any tips how to approach this? — OSTRACIZED AND PARALYZED

DEAR O. & P.: Have you attempted to start a discussion? Have you asked these folks why you’ll get the treatment that is silent? They are fair questions.

After three decades, it really is a little late to fix the mind-set your ex partner may have caused these family relations to possess in regards to you. However if as of this belated date you make an effort to spread the term that she had been cheating, it’s going to achieve absolutely nothing good, and I also do not advise it.

P.S. If the silence continues, then i suggest you bring somebody — a pal or a romantic date — with you to these gatherings. At least you will have anyone to keep in touch with.

DEAR ABBY: we have an acquaintance I see sometimes. He recently told me he could be engaged and getting married. Whenever I congratulated him, i desired to inquire about who the fortunate groom is simply because We have frequently thought he was homosexual, but i then found out he is marrying a female. What exactly is the appropriate method to ask this concern nowadays since all of us can marry, i will be thrilled to state. — THINKING IN NEVADA

DEAR PONDERING: a way that is subtle ask that question will be, “Congratulations! What exactly is your happy fiance’s (-ee’s) name?”